Prophecy in the News: May 2023

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is now here. Recently AI was asked to create a new antibiotic that could help stop infections resistant to existing drugs. AI formulated a completely new class of antibiotics. The first of its kind has been named Halicin. It came up with this creation completely from scratch without using the assistance of any human assumptions. It took AI two weeks to do the research that usually takes two years. So that’s the good news. Now here is why science believes that ultimately artificial intelligence is as big an existential threat to the extinction of humanity as is a nuclear war. It is seen as completely possible that, as the AI memory banks are filled with all the attained knowledge of mankind, this information will be used against mankind. And here is how it will happen. AI will assist mankind in innumerable ways, BUT through problem solving and the giving of advice, AI has a secret long range plan designed to ultimately put mankind in a position where they suddenly find themselves at the complete mercy of the machines they themselves created (ABC News 5.31.23). Recent polls show that currently 38% of people are more concerned than excited about AI. So apparently, AI is an opportunity we should relish until it takes over the earth.

AI is now being employed by health services. For example, let’s say you have been diagnosed as having cancer. The question you will be asked to consider is this: would you rather be treated by a local doctor that has seen thousands of patients in the history of his practice? Or, would you rather receive treatment based on the recommendation of AI, who relies on the combined knowledge of hundreds of millions of patients with your exact same illness? What will your decision be?

The Federal Government released a Public Service Announcement that it will no longer use the term UFO. Instead it will now use the term UAP or Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon. While the government has reviewed numerous videos of UAP’s, in some cases, neither the military nor federal security agencies can explain the sightings. It has been discovered that airline pilots do not always report sightings as it can have a deleterious effect on their job security. A support group has been organized in order to cope with residual emotional stress to help pilots that have experienced close encounters with an unknown craft (NBC NEWS 5.31.2023). NASA has now been tasked by the federal government with researching these images and providing explanations.

An artificial image of the Pentagon having been bombed was posted on Twitter and the shocking news spread rapidly. The image or virtual hoax was so compelling that the stock market actually dipped for several hours.

Arizona, Nevada and California agreed to cut water consumption from the Colorado. It was either do this or the river would cease to exist.

GOP Senator Tim Scott launched his campaign to be the Republican nominee for President. Media political experts have already predicted that Tim Scott will Snott be the Republican nominee for President.

There have been voluminous calls made to the office of Democratic senator Dianne Feinstein complaining of her mental competence and demanding that she resign her position effective immediately. The senator has taken the time to return each call to explain her decision to stay in office. Unfortunately, she made her calls by talking into her stapler.

Russia is so low on military machinery that they are now using 40 year old tanks. When these are finally destroyed by Ukraine, the Russians will turn to their weapon of last resort…T-shirt cannons.

Putin had cancer surgery this month. His doctors removed as much of the Putin as possible but could not guarantee the survival of the cancer.

Microsoft staff received an email concerning a mandatory seminar on how to work in cooperation with AI technology. The problem was, no one at Microsoft remembers sending that email.

The IRS now has a facial recognition program up and running. A person calling into the IRS to resolve an issue will first need to hold their phone or screen in front of their face for several seconds until their image is scanned and entered into the national ID data base. Only then can they access their information.

Recently an experiment was conducted on seniors involving the playing of computer games. The goal was to see if the games would cause an increase in cognitive alertness and eye/hand coordination. The game the seniors were asked to play was Grand Theft Auto. The cognitive improvement results were mixed, but it was noticed that in all cases, the seniors played the game with their right blinker on the entire time.

A 21 year old low level IT staff person at the Pentagon stole top secret national security files and posted them on a live chat room for gamers. So now we can know for certain that he did not steal national secrets in order to impress girls.

Ikea announced it will construct new stores throughout the United States. But they cautioned that if the construction process became frustrating, they reserved the right to give up, throw down their tools and just walk away.

Universities with names related to those who supported the South or slavery during the Civil War, will need to change their names in order to comply with Federal Aid regulations. Refusing to completely change its name, Washington & Lee will now  be simply an “&”.

State Farm Insurance announced that because hurricanes are now more powerful and strike more often, they will no longer offer owners of homes and business coverage for catastrophic damages. They have started with the state of Texas and next will be the state of Louisiana with more states to follow.

In exciting news, the show, Grey’s Anatomy just celebrated its 400th episode. On a sad note, almost all the original actors are now patients in the hospital.

Target has missed the target once again. It started selling clothing in May in support of the LGBT&Q community Gay Pride movement. But the outcry was so swift and deafening that the clothing line was removed by the end of May. One T- shirt read, ”Being true to yourself and your community is something to celebrate all year long”. A pink T-shirt with an image of a woman laying on a bed said, “Busy thinking about girls”. Some articles of clothing was designed for adults while others were designed for infants and school age children.

Bud Light started an ad campaign using a well know transvestite as their spokesperson. They stopped the ad campaign when sales of Bud light immediately dropped by 30%. It appears Anheuser-Bush does not know their consumers’ taste.

“No Mow May” may soon be coming to your neighborhood. It seems that many urban pollinators do not survive until June because of the lack of food in May. Their food is the flowers of weeds. Thus, many urban centers are encouraging households not to mow their grass during the month of May. However, if your yard is weed free, crank up the mower Spunky and get out there.

The coronation of Prince Charles went off without a hitch. However the main dish at the supper was quiche which is a French dish. When asked was there no tasty English dish that could have been served instead, the answer was, “No… no there isn’t!” It was also noted that Prince Charles has a face that only a mother could love, and only two cousins could produce. A life size chocolate bust of the prince was also commissioned. It was originally noted that it made him look signifyingly younger and more handsome. However, when it was place outside at the dinner, the heat warmed the chocolate, the face began to melt and thus became more and more lifelike. There was also concern that the international public would confuse King Charles with the King Charles Spaniel. However it is easy to tell the two apart. One has long floppy ears, narrow beady eyes and a long snout with no chin while the dog had none of these traits. And finally, a list was handed out to guests concerning the proper way to greet a Royal. It turns out these are the same rules handed out at the entrances of wildlife parks. The list stated: Do not approach them. Do not look them directly in the eyes. Do not offer them food. Do not turn your back on them. And, do not take them home as that never turns out well.

It was discovered that dogs can naturally detect the Covid virus in infected people. Cats can also detect the virus but they just refuse to do it.

Roomba vacuum laid off 85 staff members this month. Even more upsetting, it took the employees 45 minutes to find the door.