Prophecy in the News: March 2024

While news concerning the Israel vs. Hamas War fills the airwaves, never take your focus off of China. It is China that is the existential threat to America both economically and militarily not Russia. Russia and Iran will join forces against Israel, but it will be the military power of China that will make this attack possible. However, Scripture tells us that God will personally destroy both the Muslim army of the willing led by Iran, and the army of Russia that will coordinate this attack. This war is referred to as the Ezekiel 38 and Psalm 83 War. The Rapture will most probably occur before this war and will trigger the rise of the Antichrist. Three and one half years into this period of tribulation, the Antichrist will began ground invasions of sovereign countries on multiple fronts. This will be the start of the Great Tribulation Period that will end with the invasion of Israel and the Second Coming of Christ.

On Monday April the 8th, an eclipse of the sun will be visible throughout America. The path of the "total eclipse" will cross the path of the 2017 eclipse and form a giant "X" over the New Madrid fault zone. However, there is much more going in in the heavens above us. A comet know as the "Devil Comet" or "Mother of Dragons" can seen by the naked eye in the April night sky. Also, on April 4th, there will be an extraordinary alignment of four planets (Venus, Neptune, Saturn & Mars) just four days from the solar eclipse. On the 8th, seven planets will align with the sun and moon to form a straight line looking from Jerusalem towards the east. This happens once every 32 million years! On April 8th, CERN (the European Organization for Nuclear Research) will fire up the large Hadron Collider, a particle accelerator that will smash protons together in a search for what is termed as "Dark Matter" thought to hold our universe together. They will shoot particles down a seventeen mile long tunnel at nearly the speed of light in an effort to create what they hope will be a small "Big Bang" event. On April 8th, NASA will launch three rockets, " … into the moon's shadow". Strangely, NASA has decided to name this project "APEP" which is the ancient Egyptian serpent deity and nemesis of the sun deity, Ra. And, as if all of this were not enough, during the month of April, what is being called the "cicadapocalypse" is coming. Not since the presidency of Thomas Jefferson (221 years ago) has both the 13 year cicadas and 17 year cicadas emerged from the ground simultaneously. Food for thought.

California has created and initiated an Amber Alert for missing caucasian children, an Ebony Alert for missing children of color, and a Feather Alert for missing Native American children. Apparently they will continue with these race designations and are said to be considering a Snowball Alert for Alaskan Children.

Congress passed a six month budget that will pay the nation’s bills until September. So, we are the world’s Super Power, but run the country in a way that reminds me of my college days when I had just enough money, for just enough gas, to get me home.

TripAdvisor.com published a list of the “15 Best Things To Do in Haiti”. Turns out this was a typo. What they meant to say was “15 Best Things To Do in Tahiti”.

“In Florida News”, a 52 year old man was diagnosed as having parasitic tapeworm larvae in his brain. The man admitted he repeatedly ate raw or undercooked bacon for many years. It turns out that this is what caused the worms develop in his brain. When interviewed, the man was asked about this effect his diet had on him. The man was just barely able to answer the question but did manage to get out the words, “Worth it!”

On the other hand, the first human transplant of a kidney from a genetically modified pig was successfully conducted this month on a 62 year old Massachusetts man. Said the Florida man, “Can I have the bacon?”.

China is balking at the idea of having to selling TikTok to America. So instead, why don’t we simply trade Tick Tock for Boeing?

While 20% of couples in America are in interracial relationships, 100% are in Subaru commercials.

Chick fil-A announced they will now sell chicken that has been injected with antibiotics. In similar news, Arby’s old slogan will be changed to, “We have the meat?”

In the latest Monthly Abortion Provision Study, there has been a 10% increase in abortions since 2020. That is the highest number in the last ten years.

The country of Nepal has passed a new law that requires those climbing Mt. Everest to collect and bring their poop back to base camps. This has caused many would be Boomer climbers to strike Everest from their ‘Bucket List’.

Krispy Kreme will be available at McDonalds in 2026. Just imagine a double Quarter Pounder between two “hot fresh” doughnuts. A reward punch card will be issued that entitles a patron who consumes 12 of these culinary treats to receive a free defibrillator.

A CBS News reporter in Boston ordered a DNA pet kit then swabbed the inside of her cheeks and sent it in. Imagine her surprise and dismay when she learned she was 40% Alaskan Malamute, 35% Shar-Pei and 25% Labrador. Understandably, her husband has filed for divorce and her children, now considered puppies, are undergoing profound psychological counseling.

A metal detection enthusiast helped a woman find her wedding ring lost on a beach. Conversely, this will be the last time that a metal detection enthusiast will ever see a wedding ring.

A CNN study has found that 10% of American jobs will fall into the category of having ‘High Exposure of Disruption’ due to A.I. technology. Workers with only a High School education had an even higher risk of 14%.

Globally, one million plastic bottles are purchased every minute of every day.

The last Wednesday in March has been designated as Manatee Appreciation Day. Unfortunately it was at Red Lobster.

Boston Consulting Group has determined that one third of the worlds food production becomes waste due to spoilage, or it does not meet industry standards. The food is sent to landfills where it decomposes and creates methane gas, a major contributor of global warming. At the same time, one third of the world’s population is considered as having ‘Insecure Food Access’. Go figure.

In Italy, a 103 year old woman was convicted of a traffic offence. Even more startling, Italy apparently has traffic laws.