Prophecy in the News: November 2024

Total US expenditures by both parties on all elections in 2024 topped $20 billion dollars.

50% of the North American continent experienced drought conditions in the month of November.

RFK, Jr. was appointed Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services. He stated that while he had no direct experience in this area, he appreciated the new administration “giving him a shot”.

Scientist in a lab created a Black Hole that began to glow. “Stop It!” said every person in the world.

Some merchandise created for candidates to sell as fundraisers was not well considered before hitting the market. A beer koozie and coffee mug supporting Trump was issued on behalf of The Latter Day Saints. They were taken off the market as LDS do not drink coffee or beer. Needless to say, the “Jews for Trump Spiral Ham” was also pulled quickly from the market.

With the Democratic loss of 2024, we can now agree that the Democrats do not know how to rigg an election.

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is currently three times the size of France.

We consume in our food a credit card worth of plastic every week. It is in the food we eat especially fish and livestock in the form of micro beads. These beads even pass through our water filtration systems.

The harvest of mackerel tuna is down 90% compared to 1950.

The oceans provide 50% of the oxygen people need to breath plus they absorb 25% of all carbon dioxide emissions.

Starbucks has returned to baristas writing a customer’s name on the cups. This would explain the cup I received with the name Lorfyn on it.

There is rumor of a group known as the European Luciferians. The group is said to consist of members of 300 of the world’s wealthiest families. Together they control, through stock holdings, most of the major corporations in the world. They reason that if Satan is the Prince of this world, then he controls the world’s economy. Therefore, to acknowledge him and thank him will in turn cause him to honor them with business dividends. Well, that’s one way to earn a buck.

Sexual assaults by staff on patients in nursing homes is up 77% in the US over the past two years.

40% of Americans get all their news from TikTok. Sad!

Scammers are now creating their own QT codes, printing them and putting their codes over legitimate codes, like the ones found on parking meters. So, when a person thinks they are paying their meter, the money is actually being deposited into the scammer’s account.

In 44 countries, the most common password is 123456. Turns out most people have the common birth date of December 34th, 1956.

The number one most Googled question on election day was, “Isn’t Joe Biden Running for President?” Makes you think.

Only 7% of Americans have a score of great metabolic health. 93% have good or poor ratings.

For Thanksgiving, 80 million Americans traveled to see family and friends. An additional 18.3 million flew.

As of November, the stock market had recorded 42 record highs in 2024.

Anti-Jewish attacks reached an all-time high in Europe in 2024.

An A.I. powered robot painted a portrait of English mathematician, Alan Turing that sold for 1.1 million dollars. The name of the robot was Ai-Da as in, “Da, you paid a million dollars for that?” The robot was interviewed and said, “I hope mankind will consider the God like capabilities of A.I.”

Spirit Airlines filed for bankruptcy. So if you have a ticket for Spirit Airlines, you have one more piece of bad news.

23andMe laid off 200 employees. As part of a severance package, eight employees learned they were married to their cousin.

True story. A 350 pound pony named Butter got stuck stuck in a well. They got him out by lubricating him with … butter.

Top Halloween costume of 2024 was a sexy cat eating a Hatan. As opposed to a sexy Hattian eating a cat?

The 53rd annual NY City Marathon was held. “I can’t believe I did it!” said a New Yorker who crossed the street during the marathon.

New York City has withdrawn its no jaywalking law. Now you can cross any street, anywhere, at any time. This would help to explain the dramatic rise in a bumper sticker that reads, “So Many Pedistrans … So Little Time”.

McDonalds experienced a multi-state E. coli outbreak. It turns out one of its employees forgot to wash their hands.

The makers of Sauvage cologne by Dior need to explain, who looks at Johnny Depp and says, “Boy I want to smell like him!”

If you order Ice Coffee at Wawa they will ask you if you want ice. Just say “No” and then ask them to heat it up.

Three Emus escaped from their pens in South Carolina. “They were extremely difficult to catch” said county officials. Perhaps they should have just used the call of the Emu, “Liberty ... Liberty... Lib-ber-ty”.

700 million packages are delivered in a damaged condition each year in America. It appears that the automation involved in sending out the packages is responsible for most of the damage. However, in keeping with tradition, some are still drop kicked by delivery drivers.

A man was caught in Peru trying to smuggle onto a plane 320 live tarantulas, 110 centipedes and 9 bullet ants by taping them to his body. Authorities said he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for his constant screaming at the top of his lungs.

Bangladeshi woman sets Gunness world record for eating the most rice one grain at a time using chop sticks. “That’s Just Great!” said the couple sitting at the restaurant table next to her.

A book was dropped off at a library that was 98 years past due. The title was, “My Journey Through the U.S. Senate” by Joseph Biden.

Walmart now locks up their spray paints. It turns out people were taking the cans and walking through stores spraying merchandise, shelving and floors. Why?

The big fight between Mike Tyson and Jake Paul is over. It was so bad that Mike Tyson changed his name from Iron Mike to Iron Deficiency Mike. The fight was so bad that even though it streamed for free, people still demanded their money back. It was so bad that there was a line waiting to ‘get out’.

John Tinniswood, the world’s oldest man dies at the age of 112. His daily prayer of twenty two years was finally answered. When asked how he lived so long, he replied, “Pure Luck! You live long or you live short, you can’t do much about it.” When asked his health advice he said, “I never ate, drank of walked too much!” Words to die by? The oldest living woman is 116 years old and lives in Japan. Her name is Tomiko Itooka as in “I took a nap”.