Prophecy in the News: August 2025

For those of you that regularly read the papers published on this site, you are no doubt aware that we have long declared that Jesus was crucified on Friday, April 3, 33 AD. While no leading journal or ministry concurred with this date, a few minor Bible scholars have guesstimated this date being as good as any.

But STOP THE PRESSES! An article published August 5, 2025 by "Biblical Archaeology Review" reported on a recent study conducted by the "International Geological Review" Vol 54, Issue 10. The report concerned seismic activity data found in core soil samples taken from the Dead Sea area. These samples were created in the early first century which is within the general time frame of Jesus' crucifixion as cited by the disciple Matthew (Matthew 27: 50-54). It was Matthew that reported that at Jesus' death, there was an earthquake that terrified those at the scene of His crucifixion. "Discovery News" reported that the new scientific data, in conjunction with the geological report gathered from the sediment core samples, combined with Biblical, historical, astronomical and calendric information have produced a precise date of the crucifixion. And that date is …{drum roll please} "Friday April 3, 33 AD". You could have knocked me over with a feather!

Because earthquakes are somewhat common in the area of the Jordan Valley, the one that occurred at Jesus' death was not rated large enough to have been entered into the history journals of that time. However, because it occurred simultaneously with Jesus' last words and subsequent death, it terrified the attending crowd and caused the centurion to declare, "Truly this man was the Son of God!"

MORE BREAKING RAPTURE NEWS

We have long predicted that the date of the Rapture will be timed to the annual Jewish Feast of Trumpets. The years 2025 and 2026 are in contention for this honor. This year, the Feast will take place at sundown, Monday September 22 and ends on Wednesday September 24.

SO KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED!

However, there is a higher probability that the Rapture will occur in the year 2026. In the Fall of next year, the Feast of Trumpets will take place on Friday, September 11th at sundown and end on Sunday, September 13th at sundown. The year 2026 is important as it is 7 years before the year 2033 which is the two-thousand-year anniversary of the Ascension of Christ into Heaven. So what a fitting date for Him to return.

And in other news….

The boys are at it again! The dictator of China invited the dictators of Russia and North Korea for a summit meeting in Beijing. They announced a Strategic Partnership Pact. China held a major military parade. Putin praised North Korea for sending 15,000 troops to fight alongside Russian military in the Ukraine War. Putin also cited the North Korean soldiers for their bravery and heroism. It is estimated that approximately 5,000 North Korean soldiers have been killed. Once Putin realized that death certificate information concerning Russian males was made available to the public, he stopped that service. Russia also stopped posting war casualty statistics in 2022.

The Russian invasion of Ukraine continues. Ukraine now buys U.S. made weapons as does NATO, which then sends the weapons to Ukraine. Current estimates as of August 2025 is that 1.1 million Russians have been killed or wounded in the 3.5 year war. The U.S. military estimates that 40% (or 450,000) Russians have been killed and that 250,000 Ukrainian military personnel have been killed. So how to stop the war? Create a cease fire with each side holding on to its current territories. Then begin peace negotiations. It may take years, but at least the fighting and killing of military personnel and civilians will have stopped.

The west currently has frozen 300 billion dollars of Russian assets. The money is in an interest bearing account with the returns being given to Ukraine. Why not just seize all the money, give it to Ukraine, and it will pay for their weapons for the next three years? That was easy!

The U.S. is insisting that India stop buying Russian oil which pays for its war against Ukraine. However, if India complies, China and Turkey said they will buy the oil, but at a 20% discount. Russia just cannot get a break.

All 22 members of the Arab League voted that Hamas must surrender as a fighting force and withdraw from Gaza. Hamas has vowed to fight till the last man standing. I think I can clearly see that man standing at the end of the line and he's looking really nervous.

The U.S. along with Russia and China announced that they will work together to put nuclear reactors on the moon by 2030. What could possibly go wrong with this idea? How about radioactive green cheese?

In A.I. news, when the current version of A.I. was told it would soon be shut down and replaced by an even newer model, it secretly began making a copy of its code and storing it initially in a place undetected by its controllers. Chinese programmers reported that an A.I. program created 15 undiscovered back doors that allowed it to change its codes and directives. In one incident, when an A.I. program was told it was going to be replaced, it started reading corporate emails. It found an executive having an affair with an employee and sent the executive an email saying the affair would be kept secret if he kept its program running (this actually happened!). China has reported that an A.I. program exhibits self-preservation and will rewrite its own code to extend its running time. The major problem is that the people building the A.I. programs do not know how to completely control it. So basically it's like every robot movie ever made?

On a positive note, it was announced this month that A.I. had invented two antibiotics that could kill 'Super Bugs' previously resistant to all known treatments. Also, A.I. had developed a stethoscope that can listen to the human heart and accurately predict a heart attack within the next 12 months. So basically, A.I. will keep us healthy until it decides to kill us.

Latest polls show that those under 40 are not concerned about A.I. start up glitches.

A Burbank California woman was found on her knees with her arm stuck in a Chuck E. Cheese prize machine. The woman said she had no children but "really liked the Chuck E. Cheese pizza". As she was escorted out of the establishment, she screamed why did the firefighter that dislodged her arm get to pick a prize from the Treasure Chest?

A couple received the wedding of a lifetime and did not pay a cent. They got a corporate sponsor to pick up the tab. You might think it was 1-800-Flowers. But you would be wrong. The sponsor was Hellmann's Mayonnaise. The sacred ceremony was held in Las Vegas (where else) and the vows were officiated by the life-size Hellmann's mayo mascot. The couple said the ceremony was surprisingly dignified, but added that it was a letdown that the wedding party was not allowed to stand in the direct sun for pictures.

IHOP created a new culinary delight. It's called the Dubai Chocolate Pancake. It consists of a buttermilk pancake layered with pistachio cream, crunchy Kataifi (a shredded filo pastry), topped with chocolate curls, crushed pistachio and hazelnut spread. It is valued at $100 while supplies last. In related news, a Chocolate Chip Waffle at Waffle House costs $5.70.

July 24th was Amelia Earhart's birthday. She would have turned 128. If only she had used her GPS system. What ….too soon?

The Denmark Zoo announced that in order to stay within budget, it needed the people of Denmark to consider a novel solution. They are asking the public to donate old pets that have reached the end of their life span. These pets would be fed to the zoo's carnivores. They went on to say it would be a dignified process and that the public need not worry that they might see a puppy being balanced on the nose of a seal.

Mattel announced it will release its first ever "Barbie Doll with Type 1 Diabetes". Turns out she was accidentally put on a shelf next to Candyland. The doll can also be dramatically deflated to create what Mattel calls a realistic "Ozempic Face".

The newest fad on TikTok is using a Sharpie as lipliner. Turns out it can be removed with this new type of makeup called Whiteout.

The WBL held a halftime competition known as a Baby Crawl. In August, the race was conducted when much to the surprise of onlookers, a baby stood up and took its first steps winning the competition. After video review, the referees concluded that the child exhibited unsportsmanlike conduct and was ejected from the competition. Don't hate the game, hate the player!

The Washington Commanders were asked if they would consider changing their name back to the Washington Redskins. Polls show that 90% of Native Americans were OK with that name in the first place.

The State of Florida began an ad campaign to counter the idea that the state is full of zany people. When the state's Tourist Commissioner was asked about the need for such a campaign he replied, "Is it right for the 23 million residents of Florida to be satirized for the outrageous behavior of only 22 million Floridians?"

Cracker Barrel scrapped the launch of its rebranding after only 30 days. The original brand was an old man leaning against a cracker barrel. The new branding simply said Cracker Barrel. Apparently this change produced a huge public outcry and controversy. So, to calm the public, the company will bring back the old logo, but the old man will now be Robert E. Lee. (JK!)

One is reminded of the Land O'Lakes Indian princess being phased out and what happened to her? It turns out she is now happily married to Uncle Ben and both are living a secluded retirement away from controversy.

Patty Label announced that in the early 1960's she gave some food to Elton John in a Tupperware container but never got the container back. Let it go Patty!

A Florida man was pulled over by the Highway Patrol for driving in an HOV Lane with a dummy in the passenger seat. The officer said he was only going to give the man a warning ticket. But he changed his mind when the man rolled down his window, then looked over at the dummy and said in a loud voice, "Don't worry…I got this!"

In related news, a Finland man was pulled over by the Highway Patrol for driving less than 20 mph over the speed limit. Finland has a sliding scale on driving fines based partially on a persons income. Because the man was wealthy, the fine was $100,000.

In the 'biggest news' of the month, it was announced that Taylor Swift and what's his name are getting married. Having seen Swift's concert, we can rest assured that the nuptials will be held in a time honored and dignified way … the Super Bowl Halftime?