Prophecy in the News: October 2025

While completely ignored by the media, extremist Muslim groups in Nigeria are systematically carrying out a genocide campaign against the country’s Christian populations. Since 2009, over 52,000 men, women and children have been executed. This year, approximately one thousand Christians have been murdered every month. These murder rates include a small number of Muslims.

Viable human embryos were created this month using human skin.

A person born blind received the first microchip implant into the retina of their eye. The implant is the size of a BB and thinner than a human hair. Then, wearing special glasses, they were able to read print.

The average cost of today’s car in America is $50,000. The average cost of the Tesla electric car is $55,000 and the cost of a Tesla Cybertruck starts at $99,900. Tesla has issued a recall of 63,000 Cybertrucks stating the headlights are brighter than federal law allows. But the real reason the headlights are being dimmed is that owners are complaining that they can clearly see people laughing at them from 300 yards away. In related news, Elon Musk was officially declared the first person in the world to be worth 500 billion dollars.

Florida has been officially designated as the US “Gold Digger State”. It ranks as the #1 state where people go in order to marry for money. As opposed to Alaska, that was voted number one for the most people who marry for warmth.

Arby’s now offers a new menu item, “steak nuggets”, served over a bed of mac & cheese. Which answers the age old question, “Why eat steak the old fashion way using a fork and knife when you can now use your fingers?

The terrorist group Taliban, which took over Afghanistan in 2021, has recently decreed a new law. It requires all clothing stores to immediately cut the heads off all mannequins. It is against Sharia law for the image of the human head to be displayed. Well…it’s about time! Now, does that beheading occur using a saw or the Sharia way with an Aladdin’s sword?

1.4 billion Muslims believe that Jesus will return to the earth, and at that time publicly declare that He is not the Son of God. But if this is true, why does the Koran say that God raptured Jesus into Heaven where He now resides with Mohamad and other great prophets? Why would God allow a fake prophet to start the most successful religion in the world? The Muslims need to think this one through.

In Portland, Oregon, hundreds of naked people rode bicycles through the streets as an “Emergency Protest” against the use of I.C.E. Agents in their city. Unbelievably, this protest did not work!

John Bolton is being prosecuted by the US Attorney’s Office. When asked how he felt about the prosecution, he replied that while it was tiring, it was better than the exhaustion he feels every day from people coming up to him and ordering fried chicken.

Sprout Organics has issued a national recall of all its “Sweet Potato, Apple & Spinach” children’s pouches due to high levels of lead. Are you kidding me? The pouches contain spinach?

This month Pizza Hut initiated a rebranding campaign. All employees received newly designed uniforms and pizza boxes. Great! That’s exactly what everybody was complaining about. The uniforms and the boxes. Is it just me?

On October 10^th, singer songwriter Don McLean turned eighty. And while he stills tours and sings his iconic song, “American Pie,” he understandably no longer includes the words, “…and this will be the day that I die.”

The Federal Budget Office cut 47% of the country’s science budget. Bill Nye, the famous science personality, vigorously protested this move. It seem he was upset that now, without science, he would be known as just “Bill Nye the Guy”.

Rite Aid announced it would be closing all its locations. How terrible for all those people left standing in line.

Charmin announced the production of a new super “Forever Roll” of toilet paper with an astounding 1,700 2-ply sheets. “Still not enough!” shouted voices from Taco Bell bathrooms.

Medical inhalers are so abundantly used by Americans that they have officially become another addition to the growing number of air pollutants that are thought to cause the Earth to warm. On an interesting note, third world counties have almost non-existent rates of people requiring inhalers or experiencing peanut allergies.

And finally, almost 70% of the US military is overweight. Thus, the Marine Hymn song has been changed to, “From the halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Triple X."